Moss

Now I lay me down
to sleep upon the ground
as icy fingers creep
slowly through my bones
numbed to everything left
inside this empty heart

the agonizing pain
which makes me insane
is knowing I can't fly
without falling on my ass

so I'll curl into a ball
safe inside these walls
and find the only relief
left here in this dark place
like feathers on my face
the beauty of this comfort
in the midst of all the pain

~~~~~~~

Today's creative writing prompt from A Writer's Book of Days: "Write about a pillow."

Channeling the Ancient

'When I [Mitch Albom] asked the rabbi, “How do you account for all these different faiths? How can they all be right? Isn’t just one right, and the rest wrong by default?” He gave this example of trees. He said, “Do you believe that God made trees?” And I said, “Yes.” And he said, “So why didn’t he make just one tree? Why did he have to make a bunch of different kinds of trees? He’s God, and if he’s going to call this a tree, why wouldn’t they all look like this? But he made oaks and pines. Why? Because they’re all varieties of God’s creation. Why can’t you look at faith that way?”'

I am discovering that I'm a mystic, a contemplative. I think that I've always known this actually, but the reawakened poet in me is resonating with this form of spirituality more now than ever. My faith and my spiritual journey have become far more real to me and I'm finding this silent contemplation and the quest for deep spiritual connection to be the only things that truly fill my soul or fulfill me as spiritual being.

But apparently this is the stuff that scares a lot of Christians.

In my experience, something about the possibility of being wrong, or the possibility that God is more than a series of rituals, rules, or religion terrifies those who've been raised in the "Christian" church. Because to most people, admitting that we've missed the point (by having assumed that organized, mainstream "Christianity" is the only true path to God) means that we've somehow wasted our lives. But the thing is, nothing is a waste if it's leading us to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with the Lover of our souls.

I think the problem is that at the very core, all of humanity is filled with the same "collective consciousness" ~ an awareness of the supernatural ~ because we're all created by the same Supreme Being, regardless of what we call Him/Her or how we express that awareness. There's the deep yearning for something more, the need to search and sort through the great questions of life, and an innate desire to connect on a spiritual level.

And it predates Christianity. It predates religion in general. It goes back to the very beginning to the "God created..." where it was simple ~ a relationship. There was simply a man and his God, until the relationship shattered, and the distance was created. And as time moves along, that distance widens and deepens and humanity struggles to find that path back to God.

And we do what we can to find it. All things lie within our hearts; placed there by God. I think a true desire to find God will lead one to the appropriate path.

Jesus declared Himself to be the ultimate example: the way, the truth, the life. He lived a life of servitude, a life of humility, a life of love, and a life of contemplation. And He is the embodiment of this way to God. Those who KNOW Jesus will find God.

But what of those who never had the chance? How about those who spend their lives seeking God and never hear the name Jesus? What if we've entirely missed Jesus' point? What if those people know Jesus better than all of us who fill the chairs in our sanctuaries every week, sing our songs, and pray our prayers?

I'm not offering answers here. I truly don't have them, but what I do know is that it's ok that I don't. If I did, I wouldn't need God. I would assume that I've "made it" and I would be no better than Lucifer who decided that he was "like God" (leading to his expulsion from heaven).

I will walk the path to God without apology and without fear.

I will continue to seek and use any tool from any religion that is available to me to do so. I'm not afraid to admit that God is bigger than Mere Christianity. I'm not afraid to walk a labyrinth, or light a candle in memory of someone I love, or see God's fingerprints in the sky and hear the voice of Love in the wind. I'm not afraid to challenge the status quo of Christianity, to throw off the rules and regulations set up by those who have bought into "Christianity" being the only answer. I am not afraid to allow my spirit and my soul to explore concepts of communion with God and others through "non~traditional" means. I'm not afraid of the "new~age" movement which is, for the most part, little more than a reawakening of ancient spiritual practices on the road to understanding God. What goes around, comes around and the wheel of time keeps turning.

For those of you who've read this far and are now praying for my soul, I will reassure you that I do believe in the the basics of the Christian faith. I may not interpret everything exactly the same as all of my Christian friends and family, but in what matters I can agree.

I just know there's more to this "abundant life in Christ" and my God created me to be this way for a reason. I intend to find it... or die trying.

Carving the Moon

I don't want to talk

about crossing the lines

or standing in corners

or traveling through time

I want to dance

in the circle

of pale moon light

and know that it's here:

this water

real life

We build all our boxes

to keep us inside

on this spherical planet

in "linear time"

Creation repeats

through living

through death

and the planets evolve

over seasons

endless in years

Why shouldn't I feel

that there's more here than this?

That hell is a myth

and heaven doesn't exist?

What was will be over

again and again

co~existing in echoes

of what we've reflected

in the moon

in our souls

I don't want the answers;

I'll live with the mystery

of time overlapping

disregarding our history

Hanging

it's in the air

this weighting

words

each one

drenched and drowning

in permanent change

and uncertain instability ~

indecision

dangling in danger

struck again

merely waiting

finality of judgment

as the jury deliberates

who will make the final cut

The Wish

Close your eyes

and hold on tight

to moments

missed and misremembered

Take a breath

and picture

what you want to be

Another year older

decades wiser

but eons more unsure

of where this path will lead

Exhale slowly

and then let go

of all you think you know

Progress

There’s a girl inside
shoved so deep down
I don’t know that I remember

She’d come out sometimes
to play and dance
in sweetened haze descended
from liquid fire consumed
before such freedoms ended

She’d like to have friends
and not need to hide
under layers of lifetimes
insignificant confines

She huddles under labels
like blankets people gave her

crazy and insane
unstable and careless
heathen and faithless

Disregarded again
as nothing more interesting
than silly
… immature

but her view is something different
buried beneath pain

so she swallows one more pill
and follows prescribed methods
living up to outer expectations
to function on the inside

But even now
as she submits, she wonders
if she’ll ever fly again

her heart is somewhere outside
this grand façade of sane
Not big enough to hide the pain
Not hard enough to protect her
from the one she longs to be

Chill

I feel

so tired as the wind

moves in. Like

the back

of someone's hand. Struggling

to move even one step

forward.

Mostly the colorful aroma flirts

with my senses, teasing

me with it's psychokinetic

instability. Forcing me

to notice the exquisite

agony as the charm ascends

and insight spreads.

This pristine production

on a backdrop of pretense ~

a generous remedy confirming

a malfunctioning creed.

Caught

in the imagination of one's

sanctity

erased, the end

results in hyperbolic

minimalism

in the dangerous safety of

rejection's lovely

embrace.