If you doubt yourself,
it shows.
If you doubt yourself,
why shouldn't everyone else?

If you love yourself,
others will notice
If you love yourself,
others have no choice but to fall
into that elegant magnetism.

It's not about how much time
you spend in front of the mirror;
it's about being comfortable
in your own skin.

That's confidence.

That's attraction.

That's the person
everyone wants to know
everyone wants to love
everyone wants to be.

When you're confident,
self~consciousness becomes overshadowed
by consciousness of others.

When you're confident,
focus shifts from inward to outward.

In the comfort of confidence
you can calm tension in others
as you reach beyond yourself
and infect others to love life as you do.
You see the world as a better place,
and you invite others to live with you there.
You see the "best" in life
and live as if it's already here,
regardless of anyone else's opinion.

It doesn't happen overnight.
It takes work to struggle with who you are
and finally come to terms with your true self,
your strengths and your weaknesses.
To know that this is who you are
and who you are supposed to be.

It brings openness and honesty,
It confronts you
with identity
with emotion
with desire.
And no one will have to guess
who or where you are
and what it is you want.

When you are confident about how you feel about yourself,
you can own about how you feel about others
and accept how they feel about you.

You can find solace in relationship
and live in comfort of the the knowing
how to be trusting and trust~worthy.

And it won't matter
if you've just rolled out of bed,
and your hair is a mess,
and you have dried drool on your chin,
and you're wearing the same pjs you've worn all week,
and you stink because you haven't showered yet...

None of that will matter...

if you love yourself,
you've learned what love is
you've accepted who you are
you've found freedom in yourself.

You will understand
that you are already worthy of that love.

You will understand
that you are beautiful ~
even in that state of disarray.

You will understand
There's not one pair of strappy heels,
not one curling iron,
not one perfect shade of lipstick,
not one cute little black dress
that will make you any more beautiful than you already are.
That all those things are fine,
but they're nothing more than tools to add
accent to your beauty
and a light to someone's eyes.
But you won't NEED them,
to be more than who you are
You'll be the one you love, regardless.

If you lack confidence,
ponytails will make you look like a silly child,
rather than a mature woman who adores life.

If you lack confidence,
flirting will be shallow and phony,
instead of a chance to hint
at mysterious depths unknown
and whimsical flights of adventure.

If you lack confidence,
the sexiest or most elegant dress
will never hang right
or make you look fat
or will always be completely out of place.

If you can't walk with your head held high,
you won't be able to balance in high heels,
so you'll feel tiny, or stupid,
or blend into the crowd.

And when you finally own this,
it's not to impress someone else
or make them happy,
but it's for yourself and your joy.
You won't need to try too hard.
You won't have to feel desperate for love
or starve for company.
The company of yourself will be enough.
You can adapt to what life throws your way
and love every minute
of the challenge and the journey.

You'll be noticed and loved of course,
but it won't matter that you are
(or aren't),
because your worth is not based on someone else's opinion.
All that will matter is how you feel about yourself,
how you walk, how you talk, who you are...
and how you present yourself boldly to the world.

It's about accepting both
compliments and criticism with grace,
learning from both,
and throwing out what doesn't apply or matter.

It's about learning to live with yourself,
and allowing others to live with you too.


"Beauty is being in harmony with what you are." ~Peter Nivio Zarlenga
(Thanks, Ami, for sharing this quote!)


Doris Mellinger Smith said...

Nean, this is terrific.
This should be in Oprah magazine or some other popular voice for women....and men too!!Love, Aunt Doris

Reboloke said...

This makes me cry.