It's easy to do when I get lost in myself.
I get caught up in the lies I tell myself: the ones that tell me I'm useless, worthless. The lies that tell me that I don't deserve anyone's loyalty or affection. And it's part of me ~ this self-doubt.
There are days I need to be reminded.
And I have been given some of the most beautiful gifts, if I can only remember to see them as such.
I feel lost and alone often, and then, these gifts arrive when I least expect them:
- A simple glimpse at myself through someone else's eyes.
- A simple smile and a "good morning" from someone who knows it probably isn't.
- A simple acknowledgement of the pain I can't hide, even if it's followed by a frustrated shrug of helplessness and inadequacy and the sleepless nights wrestling with the inability to fix this for me.
- A simple, "Of course I don't hate you" no matter how hard I push or strike out at the ones who love me the most, bringing them nothing but pain and heartache.
- A simple hug that allows me to pick up where I left off with a dear friend I haven't seen in a year.
- A simple validation and reassurance that I'm not alone, that there are those who understand and are here to listen and be the company I need ~ even when words fail me.
So many gifts of love in my life. So often I've pushed them away. Some leave and some remain.
And for those who stay, I'm eternally grateful.
Photo by Ami