While I don't want to use January as the only time I do this, I find nothing wrong with the concept of evaluating one's self at the new year, with setting goals for the next year (although I balk at calling them resolutions -- because that feels like setting yourself up to fail). It's good to be in constant mind of where you're headed, or you become in danger of making a wrong turn and finding yourself pretty hopelessly lost -- much like I did last year.
We found ourselves at hanging out with a few very close friends on New Year's Eve this year. The topic for discussion for a large part of the evening was, "What was your high and your low from this past year?" My ultimate low (and indirectly my high as well) was the fact that I got lost this past year. It ended up rocking the foundations of my life in ways I had no idea were going to happen a year ago. I found myself having totally rearranged my life in the past year.
The negatives (the lows) to that were the toll this all took on my marriage and family, and even on some of my friendships over the past 12 months. I was so busy being caught up in my self and what I needed that I missed the fact that I was failing everyone around me, including my employer... resulting in a change of occupation as well this year.
The positives (the highs) in this come down to the realization of what amazing friends and family I have, not the least of which is my incredible husband. I'm finding myself and I'm rediscovering him too. I'm learning who I can depend on to be there for me -- no matter how often I fail them. We finalized the adoption of our daughter this past year, which was a definite high as well, but even more than that for me is the falling in love with my hubby that is happening all over again. I'm rediscovering myself, my inner poet/romantic/writer, and I've written more this year than I had since college.
Frankly, I never wanna repeat 2008. It was a dark valley in the overall picture of my life. There were distinct moments of sunshine, of course, but I found a few paths in that valley that I wasted a lot of time on since they were leading to nowhere. 2009 is a year of promise... a year for restoration, regrowth, and reconciliation for me. There are relationships that need to be re-established and/or redefined, and it's a long road, but at least this one has an ultimate destination worth pursuing.
The pain and passion that I'm sure 2009 holds for me... I'm ready. It's never easy, but I'm ready. Bring it on.